Thursday, December 25, 2014
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Monday, December 8, 2014
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Thursday, November 27, 2014
the finer things of life
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Self-love is not another ultramodern, cute, cheesy, insular concept that is divorced from the simple acts of everyday.
It is washing your own dishes more vigorously, less shoddily because the guest you're about to serve is you.
It is breaking habits like picking your teeth till your gums bleed.
It is ditching your brother's glasses and visiting your eye doctor for your own prescription.
Self-love is buying orbit in the traffic jam.
Self-love is refusing to let the quack beautician use superglue for your faux lashes.
It is visiting your dentist. It is spending the weekend with your bestfriend rather than in the company of that boy that doesn't care two kobos about you.
Self-live is taking a bath at night, brushing your teeth at night not just when you want to snuggle up with a lover, for you too deserve freshness of breath when you wake up in the morning.
Self-love is not rocket science.
It is wearing less often those designer heels that threaten to shatter your ankles with pain.
It is just as simple as going to bed when your eyes are tired.
Self-love is as simple as taking a selfie before you do that.
Thursday, November 13, 2014
We’d search for that little girl, eyes shining with hope and a pressing need to see the world beyond the borders of the soil on which she grew. The girl who yearned to discard every strand of the mundane and all of society’s hampering notions—notions imbued with prejudice.
Listen. Hear that gentle voice of rebuke, like a mother’s, now building in your head:
“Many is the time I thought to reach you. Many is the time I called your name. Have you not grown past the point you pleaded and grovelled, with bruised knees and tear-stained face, all for to be loved?
“How do you deign to be so ordinary in such a conniving world; wrapping yourself with the sheer fabric of ignorance in the fierce storms of life? Do you not know, have you not heard, that naivety no more is a virtue? That the world holds no patience for the simple and that there are not enough people to trust to chaperon you through life?
Henceforward, you shall enjoy your own soliloquy and gasp at the profundity of your thoughts. Yes, show yourself some love in the plenty of time. You’d sift every friendship, every intention; you’d store the wheat of profitability and let the winds blow away the mundane.
You’d hold your cool through these tough times. For it is the butterfly with broken wings that will not leap up and color the skies with its wings. The poor bird does not sing in its nest. You’d sing your song and bask in the melody of your own voice, yes…even if no one is listening.
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
(After Jamaica Kincaid)
Avoid boys. Avoid those boys whose hands never leave their groins. Do not eat at the neighbours' place. But if you must, do not eat like you are enjoying the meal lest they think your mother is a bad cook. Do not play with those neighbourhood urchins raised on goat milk. Stop eating so much, you will put on weight. Put a bowl in that corner where the roof leeks. Throw a pinch of salt on the earthworms to kill them. Make eba with very hot water. This is how to haggle with the tomato seller. This is how not to haggle before she throws tomato water at you. Squeeze lime over snails to take away the slime. Did I hear you begged those children for biscuit? This is how to shave your hairs. This is how to fix your pad so you won't leave a trail of blood in your wake. But I did not beg any body for biscuit. Always carry a shower cap in the rainy season. This is how to know a man that would take care of you when you marry him. This is how to know a man that would stop giving you money once you've married him. This is how to know the one that would become a he-goat and turn you to a fishwife. Do not accept gifts from unknown men. This is what to take to stop menstrual cramps. Have I not warned you to stop reading ashewo magazines under candlelight? Stop peeping through the neighbours' window to watch adult films. This is how not to reduce your bride price. But I do not read asehwo magazines under candlelight. This is how to chew gum in public. This is how to fart in public if you can't help it. This is how to dance in a ceremony without dancing more than the celebrant. At 28 you are still busy doing ashebi for others, where are my grandchildren? But you said I should avoid boys. You mean to say at your age you do not have a man in your life?
(image source: fineartamerica.com. inquisitive girl by Xueling Zou)
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Monday, November 3, 2014
Monday, April 7, 2014
Saturday, January 25, 2014
2. For gone are those days men declared their assets to their beloved, while her soft laps pillowed their heads as she stroked it. Samson tried it and his eyes were gorged out by his enemies.
But what more can they do but for them to mouth their sweet nothings?Yet I say, Woe betide those who stake their lives on pillow-talks. Love is shown, not only in the soft cushions of scented beddings but also when the heat and pressures of life come pressing in. Love is questionable if the only time it is declared is amid a romp, while you are breathing hard down my neck.
3. There is an Ibo proverb that the lizard fell from a great height and landed on his belly. He looked left and right,awaiting a round of applause but no one paid him heed. Then he nodded severally and said to himself, 'If no one would sing my praise, I would go on and praise myself.'
4. Child, unless you are powered by a deep resolve and sheer willpower to enjoy life and the work of your hands which it has apportioned you, you would be muffled by the world's undue expectation of you.
5. I looked under the sun and observed:
- that marriage is over-rated: society's false panacea prescribed for all of life's woes; a snake oil to all of life's ills.
-and many have children not because they want to but because society would question if they didn't. Children have become women's gift to their men as a proof of their virility. A child, often, is what a woman uses to shut the trap of a nagging mother-in-law.
6. Child, there are some sweet things you would know in due time that would make your meals tastier, your gait comelier and your sleep sweeter. But if you know them wrongly, it would leave a gaping hole throbbing between your thighs.
7. There is a vacuum in the shape of Deity,lounging in the deep crevasses of the human heart; everything that tries to fill this void wobbles pathetically.
8. For vanity upon vanity, all is vanity.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
More than my bespectacled self
More than this quiet smile
More than this crude accent.
I am more than these
More than this shy gait
More than these unvarnished nails
More than these old braids
You love me now
Cause I feel like comfy shoes
Like your granny's rocking chair
Like your favorite spot on your sofa.
You are eager to reach for me now
For all you see is:
This bespectacled girl with a crude accent
With old braids and unvarnished nails
Walking towards you with a shy gait.
But I am more than these small eyes
More than the birthmarks above my lips
More than these flared nostrils
More than those fearful resistances.
You adore this that I am
But would you love that which I'm becoming?
Would you feel dimmed
In my brightness?
Would you feel dwarfed
In my rising?
When this gait straightens
And my smile like a cloak
Puts on confidence
Would you still adore me?
I am your leaky faucet
And you are my eager plumber
Sweat on your kind brows as you get to work
And I yield to your earnest touch
Oh how I love the feel of your hands as you fix me!
But when I drip no more
When I stoop no more
And when I'm shy no more
Would you take flight?
Now is you time to strut in spotlight
Now is your moment to wriggle in limelight
But when you see my name in lights
Would you feel snuffed out?
Do you love me now
Cause I give you room to glow?
And would you adore me still
When I begin to beam?
Now, I am in the hands of the Sculptor
Being molded to shape
And chiseled to conformity
But when it's time to reveal me to the world,
Would you feel sidelined?
For I tell you again
There is more to me
Than this bespectacled girl
With a crude accent
With Old braids
And unvarnished nails
Walking towards you in her shy gait.